Introduction
All kinds of instructional material has been written to aid dummies trying to navigate everything from computers to cuisine. Dummies everywhere have the privilege of picking up a a black and yellow book to help them build a deck, or fart without making too much noise. Dogs, on the other hand, find themselves without such valuable guidance. Literature tailored to the canine bent on self-improvement is all but non-existent. The authors of this guide seek to rectify that oversight, starting with this text,
Divorce for Doggies. Divorce touches a panoply of lives--the family pet's not least. Where better to begin a
_____ for Doggies series than with a complete treatment of the world-shattering phenomenon that is the end of a marriage? When divorce rips the fabric of family, and thus society, in two, children, dogs, and goldfish alike experience a barrage of confusing emotions. With this guide, dogs will finally have the insight they need to deal with the trauma they have experienced, are experiencing, and the trials that still await. Step by step, our road map traces the phases of grief. Chapter one deals with
Confusion, that "Where-the-fuck-are-those-door-openers-because-I-want-to-rip-through-the-screen-door-and-chase-that-fucking-squirrel," feeling that is all-too-common in the dog of a divided household. Chapter two tackles the troubles that arise in the second phase of grief,
Hunger, where dogs find themselves asking, " 'da fuck is my kibbles at?" Finally, chapter 3 will help the dog through that final and socially shameful tribulation,
Incontinence. "Fuck, I
really have to... fuck, never mind." The authors' sincere hope is that the canine reader will regain a sense of normalcy through empowerment as
Confusion is battled by indifference,
Huger is overcome by laziness, and
Incontinence is put off by constipation. May dogs everywhere no longer be made victims of divorce, but gain mastery over their lives once more!
